A quick thought:
Science does not claim to hold the absolute truth. That’s why it deals in hypotheses and theories, both of which aren’t certain terms, but derive from evidence available in the measurable world. If this evidence changes, Science changes. The world is no longer flat.
Religion holds the claim to absolute truth. It occupies a realm of logic unavailable to any kind of scientific enquiry (if everything was created, then who created God?) and deals in evidence that can never be proved or disproved. Religion, necessarily, cannot change to accommodate new information, because the absolute truth cannot change. And if it did, wouldn’t that show that it was human after all? And that it’s followers would be better off making up their own minds than subscribing to dogma?
In my opinion, factual truth does not exist. It is an intangible concept. What we believe to be factually ‘true’ may be misinformation that has managed to take hold in our consciousness. Therefore, Science comes out the better for not asserting to be the ultimate truth that Religion does. It knows the limitations of our knowledge and creates the best theories to accomodate this. Religion cannot provide us with factual truth, anymore than Science or anyone else can. But Science, in realising the inability to realise ultimate truth, is thus a better source of guidance.
We need, therefore, to seek only moral truth. We may seek that wherever we please.
Yeah, so, what I really wanted to say was, well, I know that at one time or another I’ve liked you and you’ve liked me and, well, I’ve never really done anything about that and I’m sorry for that, I was just a little unsure, and you know, what with this whole business with Ben I didn’t want to upset you further by committing to something I wasn’t sure about, and I think that generally I quite like our friendship the way it is and I didn’t want to do anything that might have changed that or harmed that, and I don’t want you to think I was being a tease or trying to mess you around, but I feel like it seemed that way and I’m sorry for that, and I’m sorry it’s taken me so long to get my head around such a simple issue.
And I know I’ve got lousy timing ‘cause you’re off to Russia in a few months, but I don’t really care, I just really needed to get this off my chest ‘cause we’ve only got one life and I don’t plan on spending it in sleepless, regretful nights, and I know that I might have hung around for too long and I might be too late, because it always seems as though there are other men who spend more time with their shirt off around you, and so if you’ve moved on that’s fine, I don’t mind staying exactly as we are, as friends, and that would still make me happy but, yeah that was the main thing, just to let you know that, I really like you and I’m here if you want me.
x
Especially when it’s an important and popular fact that no one gives a damn about anyone’s problems but their own.
And most of your time is taken up trying to be interesting and funny and unique. Staving off the awkward silence is a pain. You mustn’t let boredom a look in. Otherwise it will make you do something stupid to fill the time with.
Gah.
It’s about knowing enough to know how to look like you know what you’re talking about.
It’s an endless cycle.
I can’t bear the silence so I fill it with drivel and act like a prick. Then I foist all my innermost feelings on unfeeling friends. And I hate myself for both, and for being so ordinary and for being so selfish.
Because I should be thinking more about you and about how you’re so elegant and funny and clever and lovely and all the summer evenings we might share. But I don’t, so I can’t even articulate the reasons you make me feel like this.
It’s altogether too painful, and in some ways I wish that you find someone who talks better and looks nicer, even though such an outcome haunts me every time I see you smile.
Maybe I could be myself then.
Me: ‘Why Social Inequality Still Exists.’ It’s not written by a woman - that’s progressive.
You: Not wanting to sound like a bigot or anything…
I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by that. I don’t know what I meant. I’m not a sexist, or a bigot. Things just fall out of my mouth when you’re around. It’s pathetic and it needs to stop.
Why do you make me do this? Why do you make me seem like the biggest prick when all I’m trying to do is be funny and interesting, and just maintain conversation? I badly want to be myself. But you won’t let me.
Or is this who I am? An unfunny, uninteresting, unattractive, unintelligent loser who comes out with any old garbage in a desperate bid for attention? I told myself I wouldn’t become this. Not after seeing so many of my peers become that.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
One Direction’s acquisition of the Best Single Brit Award only furthers the argument that talent is no longer necessary for commemoration.
Shopping exclusively at River Island does help, though.
The internet says we’re all fat, wrinkly, unemployed, crap at guitar and have tiny penises.
And are we?
I’m a different person for everyone I meet. So it’s just a question of finding the people who turn me into the person I like the most.
